What would you say if your mother-in-law wanted to be in the delivery room while you give birth? Well, one Reddit user laid down firm boundaries with her MIL, and now she's being harassed by members of her husband's family over her decision.
A Reddit user named Impressive-Wrap6749 posted her story of a mother-in-law who lacks any concept of boundaries. According to OP, she and her husband found out they were pregnant -- and when they told his mother, she immediately began overstepping. During a family dinner following the pregnancy announcement, OP's mother-in-law gave a list of demands, including wanting to know what hospital the baby would be born so she could be in the delivery room.
"She asked what hospital we decided and she couldn’t wait to be in the room. She then mentioned to have a room ready in our house so she can assist us with the baby. I looked at my husband and back at her because she kept rambling on and not allowing me to speak up."
When OP was finally able to speak up for herself, she declined her mother-in-law's offer to stay with her and her husband following the birth of the baby, and also told her that she wouldn't be in the delivery room. Mother-in-law tried to argue that her son would want her in the room to watch OP give birth, and she even tried to get OP's husband to overrule her. Of course, OP's husband reinforced the boundary that only he and the doctors would be present while his wife gives birth to their child.
Now members of her husband's family think she's in the wrong for "robbing" her mother-in-law of the experience to witness the birth of her grandchild. That's why she took to the popular AITA subreddit with her situation.
Reality check
While some people might be comfortable with having in-laws and other random family members in the room while they give birth, others are more private. It's understandable that the mother-in-law would want to be in the room to see her grandchild born, because she might have done the same for members of her family or her husband's family in the past. Nonetheless it wasn't her decision to make, and it was incredibly gross of her to even think -- much less outwardly suggest -- that OP's husband could, or would, overrule her decision. To then try to turn other members of the family against the expecting mother so they would bully her into changing her mind is another troubling behavior on the mother-in-law's part.
This entire dinner with the mother-in-law was a red flag indicative of what's to come for OP. This is a woman who doesn't respect her, and who views her as nothing more than a vessel for carrying her grandchild. She truly believed that she had the given right to be present, to stare into this woman's private area as if the birth of a child is a spectacle, and not a traumatic and potentially dangerous medical event. To further drive home this woman's entitlement she had no qualms about telling OP that her husband would side with her simply because she was his mother. Hopefully OP and her husband stay firm on their boundary, because if they don't nip this behavior in the bud immediately, it will only get worse.
Comments
Post a Comment